Problem

Dear Lupinion,
What is my problem?
Don't you ever get the urge to say to somebody, "you know what your problem is:"?
Well I want to be that somebody.
Seriously, what is wrong with me?
Best,
Me.

Dear Me.,

By Me., I don’t mean me, but you, and that’s how lupinion should be read.

Obviously, I don’t know you, but I have thought about your question a lot. I considered any imaginary good and bad qualities that I could assign you. Still, in the end, your bad qualities outnumbered the good. But this was more of a general fact than a specific problem.

Last night, someone told me that, if I wanted, she would buy Alli the diet pill for me. I could tell you what’s wrong with her, but you, I’m not sure. Maybe the same thing.