Is taking prescription medicine really necessary?

Dear Lups,
I'm supposed to take medicine to help me focus but I keep forgetting to take the medicine so that it will actually help me. How do I break this vicious cycle?
Thank you,
Currently in class and not focusing


Dear Currently in class and not focusing,

Are you still reading lupinion?

I’m very glad you brought up this issue, because I have a lot to say about taking medicine. I hate swallowing pills, including vitamins, which aren’t really medicine but pointlessly huge gobs of smelly powder. They produce cancer, I am sure of it. What’s the point of them, anyway? What is it that we do that we need so many vitamins? Sitting and talking? I’m pretty sure even a bowl of Ramen has enough nutrition to keep us alive. If you ask me, taking vitamins is like drinking water all day long – frivolous and kind of desperate.

If I must take medicine, I crush it and pour maple syrup on it. It’s the only way I can justify swallowing it. People get annoyed with me sometimes, because after I put any medicine in my mouth, even the kind soaked in maple syrup, I hold it on my tongue for 2 to 6 minutes, until I can work up the self-injurious behavior to swallow. I usually jump up and down and wail with my mouth closed and point to my throat to alert people of the danger I’m in. I’m told people don’t understand why I can’t just swallow it, but it’s not that easy, of course.

You might not realize that the reason you “forget” to take your medicine is its vilety, which is a real word. If medicine was cheesecake, you bet you’d remember it! Hey, actually, if I had to take the same medicine every day, I probably would bake it in a cheesecake! A pill per slice! I wonder if it would lose its potency, but you could always just eat more.

So there you go.