Another bad smell. Hm....

dear lupinion,
recently i've discovered having gas of another kind. vaginal flatulence is what i'm talking about. no amount of clenching prevents it from escaping. today, i was at my co-worker's desk and it started up again. the rumble was so low, yet i was too embarrassed to say, "excuse me." what is the best thing to do in these situations? acknowlege it? explain it? ignore it? i'm pretty sure she heard.
please help!
sincerely,
L

Dear L,

Don't be embarrassed. Everyone does something natural once in a while. You just do it in a very embarrassing way. What you should do is what I do when natural parts of life happen, and that is ignore that they happened. No matter what the evidence, ignore it. Everyone knows it's you. Admitting it won't make it any less horrendous.

Next time it happens, look up at the ceiling, whistle the theme of Married with Children, put your hands together and twirl your thumbs. Currently and forever, that is the body language indicator that says you didn't do it even though obviously you did.

Finally, I decided not to use your full name and I think you know why.